dear mr. postman

It used to be hard getting into the postal service. Nowadays it seems, having a pulse will do.

I mean seriously postal worker, after the third time stuffing a too big box in a too small mailbox, you'd learn by now???

Each time I wrote a nice note and taped it to my box, it took two days for you to get it out? I'm guessing you either didn't understand what I was asking or you don't understand English. 

I know you come twice a day. I stopped you on the street one day to ask you a very basic question and you gave me that 'deer in the headlights' look.

I see you huddled in doorways chatting to your friends and smoking. I'm pretty sure the postal service doesn't want you representing them in that way. Makes me think you're being lazy and slacking on the job. 

And oh yeah, please go to the next building and bring me the package that you delivered to the wrong place.