Everybody does it!

I never used to do it around people. Empty aisles, alone in the car, the other room, storage closet. Wherever people weren't, I was. Even that 4 letter word sounds embarrassing let alone hearing it. Or worse yet, smelling it. But, everybody does it. We'd joke and say that's what males do when they bond. We'd almost expect it out of guys, but not girls. Girls are supposed to be lady-like, right? We don't do stuff like that, at least out in public or around people. When I first met him he used to say, "I just wish girls would be themselves, and fart when they have to, because you know everybody does it." I would have been mortified, especially after just meeting him. But, I liked the way he thought. Different than most guys. He wanted a natural gal, nothing fake about him. Better be nothing fake about her. Then one day, it kinda slipped out and I thought I would die. But he wasn't disgusted. He actually seemed quite amused. So, little by little I'd squeak em, sneak em out. We'd laugh and sometimes run from each other. I've become so used to doing it, now I enjoy it. I think he wishes he never said "he wishes girls would just do it."

Can you name these movies?

1. I'm going to make him an offer he can't refuse.
2. Love means never having to say you're sorry.
3. A census taker once tried to test me. I ate his liver with some fava beans and a nice Chianti.
4. If you build it, he will come.
5. We'll always have Paris.
6. Houston, we have a problem.
7. A boy's best friend is his mother.
8. I'll get you, my pretty, and your little dog too.
9. Frankly, my dear, I don't give a damn.
10. May the Force be with you.
11. You're gonna need a bigger boat.
12. What we've got here is failure to communicate.
13. They call me Mister Tibbs.
14. I'll be back.
15. Take your stinking paws off me, you damned dirty ape.
16. My mother thanks you. My father thanks you. My sister thanks you. And I thank you.
17. I feel the need — the need for speed.
18. Here's looking at you, kid.
19. Mama always said life was like a box of chocolates. You never know what you're gonna get.
20. I see dead people.
21. You had me at 'hello'.
22. Here's Johnny!
23. Elementary, my dear Watson.
24. Say hello to my little friend.
25. Hasta la vista, baby.

dexter

I've always been fascinated by serial killers.
Karla Homolka, Albert Fish, Jeffrey Dahmer, Zodiac Killer, Aileen Wuornos.
Not to glorify, but I find them quite interesting.
Anddd I don't necessarily like the idea of a T.V. show highlighting a serial killer either.
But oddly enough this show is quite addicting and somewhat entertaining. It's so easy to like this guy. And although
I sometimes have to remind myself it's only a movie, one still tends to feel guilty about it. Their website foo foo's
it all up tho, not disparaging, but colorful enough to remind one that yes, it IS still just a show. Maybe to thwart
wannabes and copycats.
All in all we have Michael C. Hall at his best, too bad 6 Ft Under was laid to rest.

HAS JUSTICE BEEN SERVED???

I say YES if he actually serves any time.

O.J. Simpson gets at least 15 years in prison

LAS VEGAS, Nevada (CNN) -- Former gridiron great O.J. Simpson will serve at least nine years in prison for his role in an armed confrontation with sports memorabilia dealers in a Las Vegas hotel in 2007.

O.J. Simpson told the judge Friday that he was sorry for what he did but didn't think it was wrong.
Simpson was sentenced to a maximum of 33 years after a rambling, emotional apology in which he told District Judge Jackie Glass, his voice shaking, that he was sorry for his actions but believed he did nothing wrong. Glass, however, brushed his apology aside, saying his actions amounted to "much more than stupidity," and calling him both arrogant and ignorant.

"Earlier in this case, at a bail hearing, I said to Mr. Simpson, I didn't know if he was arrogant, ignorant or both," Glass said. "During the trial and through this proceeding, I got the answer, and it was both."
She stressed that the sentence was not "payback for anything else," apparently referring to Simpson's acquittal 13 years ago in the slayings of his former wife, Nicole Brown Simpson, and her friend Ron Goldman.

little girl blue

It had only been a year since I gave my barbies away. At fourteen I had my first job.
I felt proud, all grown up. I wanted to go camping with her. She was a few years older than me yet I was permitted to go. It was all so innocent. Her father caused me to lose my first job, he didn't like his brother. But I still wanted to go. I had a new blue flowered swimsuit. Still childlike, puberty had not quite set in. I was so excited. Her uncle was much much older, he seemed real cool. The wild child.

I don't remember the ride or where we stayed.
But I remember a young girl with long blond hair in the playground not much younger than myself. He said he was 'waiting' for her to grow up. She looked so innocent swinging on the swing. Something didn't feel right, but at that age I was unsure of what it was. He confessed the purpose of me going was 'to be with him.' I was confused yet relieved when he said it was not to be. I often wondered later whose saving grace that was?

I remember going to some cabins and my friend drifted off. I stayed behind at the campfire. I was feeling abandoned yet liked the new attention. The guys around the campfire treated me like their peer, drinking a beer. I felt woozy right away and one guy kept me from falling into the fire. As a Neil Young song played, he began to tell me a story. In his rage, he told me about four college students getting killed in Ohio. I had no idea what had happened. I just remember his intense face.

I often wonder what happened to him. Had he himself gone on to college? Head mass demonstrations for fallen causes? Did his intense excitement stay kindled, or did his causes die like those flickering flames?

Proposition 8

To be quite honest, it's safe inside the box. Let me explain. I was brought up in the church. A marriage is between and man and a woman, etc. etc. I think what bothers people who don't believe in same sex relationships or marriages is what it can do to them. It's scary for various reasons. One, it may purely disgust them. Two, they may be afraid of being turned on. Three, they may be afraid their straight partner would turn. I can't imagine any other reasons.

It's easy to judge, but hard to understand.

Therefore I tried looking inside my own box to see if I could come up with some sort of equivalent.
I grew up in a white town. No blacks to this day live there. I never really thought about it, really. I met my white husband, had a child, nice home, dog, you know the story. Many years later, long after my husband, I meet a black man. We started as friends chatting. I liked what was in his head. I was later surprised to find out he wasn't white. All of a sudden, it didn't seem to matter. What came back to me was years earlier learning in church to accept people for who they were. That black was just a color of skin, as is white, and so on. I don't see him as being black. I see him as being a man.

If my state where to pass a law and say it's against the law to wed a black man, I think I'd be pretty pissed too. You may not understand it. But, I do. It's okay if you don't understand it. I'm living it. I'm happy, so you can leave me alone. I guess we should let those who are for same sex marriages alone too. They understand it. They're living it. Let's leave them alone. Let's let them get married too.

MAcabre

...I've been sensing you, but I'm not afraid.
...I've always wondered what truly happened, that cold, cold morning.
...had the fires long been diminished? Or did it need another coal?
...did harsh words start your day? So many questions, were there
questions? Or did everyone accept your fate?
...did grief blind those about you? Or did a thief steal their sight?
...I was on the outside peering in, my silent questions lay unanswered, tho I dared not ask.
...bruises I was told...I was afraid to look..tho they fixed you up as pretty as you've always been.
...a long staircase and the stench of blood. Was that just grief stricken madness, totally consumed?
...I don't know what truly happened on that cold, cold morning, but I know you're here, and I am not afraid.
(...and she sadly pushed herself away from me...like a boat gently pulling away from shore)

Roman Polanski

Spooky and I just watched 'The Ninth Gate' again which led us into a discussion about Roman Polanski. He was accused in 1977 of drugging and raping Samantha Geimer who was 13 at the time at Jack Nicholson's place. Polanski jumped bail and fled to France. Lots of stories going around, even about Geimer and her mother. And speaking of her mother, just where was she when all of the proposed took place? Seriously, who would let her 13 year old daughter alone with ANYBODY. I don't know if he did it. I don't know if the rumors are true about them either. Shame on him if he did, shame on them if they were.

The Color of Perfection??

Is not Korean.
The Korean Air commercial really cracks me up. The ad wants to portray the airlines as:
breathtaking
exquisite
visionary
graceful
understanding
pledging
admiring
but it uses people of other ethnicity's to portray their own (excellence?)
I think that commercial is disrespectful to their own country. The Color of perfection they're trying to portray is everything but the Korean if you go by that ad. As a matter of fact, the woman at the end is still looking for it.

FRIDA KAHLO -July 6,1907 - July 13,1954

We went to Frida's exhibition today. It was really interesting yet it left a somber affect on me. Her life seemed so tragic, much of it portrayed in her works. I loved seeing the actual paintings. I wondered what thoughts brought each stroke of the brush. I wanted so much to reach out and touch her art, maybe as if I were reaching out to her? Why does an artist become more famous when one is dead? Back in the day, she was only known as Diego Rivera's wife. Today, she is Frida Kahlo~Mexican Artist.

I hope the exit is joyful-and I hope never to return ~ Frida

My favorite Frida pics.

Is it really necessary?

I swear I used to like dogs.
Till I moved to the city. Now I just feel sorry for them. I live on a pretty busy street and I do believe there are more people here with dogs than kids. They take them into banks, restaurants, stores. Try doing that back east. HA! Stores put water bowls out for them on the sidewalks. You occasional step in their crap because mommie & daddie 'forgets' to pick it up. You cannot walk down the street anymore without seeing pit bulls, pugs, hounds, poodles, labs. The only exercise they get is when their owners go down the street to buy a latte. These are stay at home dogs with their stay at home moms. You see that doggie stroller up there? It's a whopping $119.00. I mean at least let the dog get some EXERCISE!!! And stop acting like those animals are babies, because they are not.

MONEY CAN'T BUY YOU LOVE

OR CAN IT?
I am as content in my life as I can be. I've always said money can't buy you love. You have to find what makes you happy and BE happy in life. Everything else will/should fall into place. I think well, this is my existence. This is what's on my plate, what's been handed down to me. Why complain?

Yeah, I'd be nice to have a ton of money to do those things you see on t.v. Fly to exotic countries, a nice house by the sea, drive a fancy car, not ever have to work. Go to fancy parties. Instead I am happy to settle with flying across the states, renting a house by the beach, driving a nicer rental car, not having to work for a week, dressing up for a wedding. Well, you get the idea.

So why should I complain? Am I complaining? Yet, there is always a reminder, this picture that haunts me from time to time. It was a picture of a mansion with a Lamborghini parked outside and underneath the caption: the rewards of higher learning.

Yep, there it is. Nobody's fault but mine, really. I wonder why I never had the initiative or drive to do more, go farther? Is it a fault? Sometimes those rich people end up on drugs, unhappy and sometimes dead before their time anyway. Maybe I would appreciate life more if I had to work harder for things? Ahhh, who knows? I think being happy is the key to life. How cliche, eh? And, it's really hard sometimes knowing what that is. If you find it, you'll enrich your life and live long. I think that's what it's all about. 

But seriously folks, I still want that watermelon tourmaline ring. That house on the beach. That older pale green Mercedes that woman was driving around the other day. Not having to work, and not having to worry about money. 

The rewards of higher learning.

My circle of friends.

a true friend is a good friend indeed...
end to end...meet my circle of friends...

cindy cindy...what can i say?... every time you entered a room, it brightened
up...always smiling and full of energy...ever giving, ever loving...the most
thoughtful person...i miss our margaritas...and strong strong coffee!...girls
night out...the first true texan i met...you'll always be an island girl to me...
keeping up with the latest movies and fashion...spoiling my sabby...
i know you'll always be there for me...i really do miss you...

sue...i met you at a shindell show...and liked you instantly...we've kept
in touch and i'm so glad...i'd say to my family...'she's the most down to earth
and nicest person i've ever met'...'good people'...i like to say...sometimes
years will go by, but when we meet, it's like we never left...i loved visiting
you in pittsburgh...overnight trips to shows and forgotten pajamas! ...the trip
to baltimore...staying with your folks...eating my first crab cake~and loving it!...
i wish santa fe would have been longer...no matter what...your a true friend indeed,
and thanks for being there...i miss you...

loretta...my confidante...hours and hours together, always there when i needed
you...your shoulder to cry on...we'd leave our doors open...your beauty portrays
everything you do...paintings...the artists garden...cooking...lovely lovely plated
dinners making me feel special...surprise birthday baskets with fresh hibiscus...
girls night out...themed parties...remember the belly dancing???...our costumes...food...dancing?...taking those soul walks on the beach...meditating...
harboring me when i was scared of the hurricane...
thanks for always being there for me...i miss you friend...

rosie...so special...do you really know what a gem you are?...i used to love going
to town and listening to that new fav song of ours over and over again...meeting
for breakfast and fighting over the check!...i've always been so proud of you...
your accomplishments...ever learning...soaking up knowledge like a sponge...being
there for each other thru the tough & good times...you'll always be older than me,
but you'll always look younger than me!...your beautiful inside and out...
you'll always be there for me...i miss you mi amiga...

carolyn...the most generous person i know...always wanting and trying to help
someone out...and me many times...your an inspiration...a go getter!...the sky is
the limit for you...and you'll go far...i loved the parties at your condo...pizza and
drinks at the hot tub!...meeting for the best margaritas in town and watching the
sun go down over the bay...dancing barefoot at the wanna wanna...hearing you laugh...
i love to hear you laugh!...your one of a kind...
thanks for being there for me...let's meet for margaritas cuz i miss you my friend...

marilyn...you have such a sweet gentle spirit...i'm proud to call you my friend...
remember the 'card' parties??...that was so fun!...your mystic nature, a true gift...
your beauty shines inside and out...always caring...ever loving...going to listen to you sing...dressing up for halloween...meditating...you always had our best interest at heart...
yes, such a sweet gentle spirit...and i know your there for me...
thank you friend...

terry...watching our kids grow...coffee on the swing...you made me my
first kahlua and creme~and i hated it!...exchanging plants and
flowers for our gardens...meeting at 1 am for breakfast at
eat n park...listening to each others troubles and triumphs...buying
me bath&bodywork products when i couldn't afford it...
calling me every other day to just shoot the breeze...always being
there for me, no matter what...i miss you
dear friend...rest in peace now...

Killer side effects!

Whilst watching commercials I can't help but laugh sometimes at the ridiculous ads about drugs and their side effects. I decided to highlight the drug Prozac which is an antidepressant to treat well, depression. Also prescribed for eating, obsessive compulsive and panic disorders. The ads on TV take up all the time to tell us what side effects could occur when taking their drug. I guess they have to say it or they could get sued. I guess they have to say almost any side effect they can think of so they won't get sued. If your disease won't kill ya, your pill might. Check this out.

less serious side effects

• drowsiness, dizziness, weakness
• runny nose, sore throat, headache, flu symptoms
• nausea, diarrhea, changes in appetite
• weight changes; decreased sex drive, impotence, or difficulty having an orgasm
• dry mouth, increased sweating

serious side effects

• seizure (convulsions)
• tremors, shivering, muscle stiffness or twitching
• a red, blistering, peeling skin rash; problems with balance or coordination
• agitation, confusion, sweating, fast heartbeat

If you ask me every one of these side effects seem to cause every disorder it is prescribed for.

David Lynch: The concept of absurdity is something I'm attracted to.

Here on out I shall refer to the boyfriend as spooky. He first introduced me to David Lynch's Mulholland Dr.
I was so upset at that film which to me at the time made no particular sense.
In retaliation I made him watch Steel Magnolias.
In fairness to all involved I gave it a second go round, and came out with nothing more than a little better understanding of Lynch...sorta.
Then I watched Eraserhead. David's first experimental film, and oddly enough, I really liked it.
It's the one I had David sign when we met him. He of course was promoting his last film~ Inland Empire, which I have not been able to sit through all of yet. That's kind of how I am with Lynch's films. I do like Twin Peaks tho. And Elephant Man.
He dabbles in art, photography and even sings. He's such an odd duck. Quack quack.

oh yeah:
You know how stupid we get sometimes when we meet someone famous? Well, after standing in the long line for Lynch's autograph, spooky and I both were wondering what we were going to say to him. Didn't want to sound dorky yet cool. I wanted to play it cool. Maybe he'd take one look at me and want to cast me in his next film? Maybe he'd see how unnerved I was and invite us for drinks? There's so many questions I wanted to ask him but had to be just the right one. Just didn't want to sound like another fan. So I get up there and everything happened so fast. I say something real blase like: thanks so much for coming, and David says no~thank YOU. He signs my DVD and I'm moved along. I seriously don't even remember him looking up at me. I guess I may have been the two-thousandth person that day. Or, maybe he was rushing everyone cuz he had to pee?
At the end of the day I can say I met him, got my picture and autograph. But David, at the end of the day, you didn't get me.

How natural is that disaster??

I woke up this morning thinking about all of the natural disasters going on in our world.
Starting at home from the fires that's eating up California, to the hurricanes on our 3 coasts. Tornadoes and floods in the mid west. Let's not forget tsunamis and earthquakes in Asia, severe drought and famine in Africa. I woke up thinking this surely is God's way of purging the earth. We've abused and used it for too long. It's natures way, really. Ironically enough I find out that today is World Population Day in which we have reached an unprecedented 6.7 billion people. And continues to grow 80 million people each year. What shall befall us next? One thing is for sure, the earth will continue to crack and swallow us. The sky will continue to blow and suck us up. The waters will continue to wash us away. The fires will continue to consume us or, will the selfishness of one country demand our fate?

FOURTH OF JULY!

July 4th. Whilst my boyfriend wanders about the English countryside, I'll be trying to catch the fireworks through the fog tonight. Well, just another day. For me that is.
For some people, they received their citizenship today. Which made me think for a minute. About the test they have to take. Could YOU fellow American, pass this test????

1. What are the colors of our flag?
2. How many stars are there in our flag?
3. What color are the stars on our flag?
4. What do the stars on the flag mean?
5. How many stripes are there in the flag?
6. What color are the stripes?
7. What do the stripes on the flag mean?
8. How many states are there in the Union?
9. What is the 4th of July?
10. What is the date of Independence Day?
11. Independence from whom?
12. What country did we fight during the Revolutionary War?
13. Who was the first President of the United States?
14. Who is the President of the United States today?
15. Who is the vice-president of the United States today?
16. Who elects the President of the United States?
17. Who becomes President of the United States if the President should die?
18. For how long do we elect the President?
19. What is the Constitution?
20. Can the Constitution be changed?
21. What do we call a change to the Constitution?
22. How many changes or amendments are there to the Constitution?
23. How many branches are there in our government?
24. What are the three branches of our government?
25. What is the legislative branch of our government?
26. Who makes the laws in the United States?
27. What is the Congress?
28. What are the duties of Congress?
29. Who elects the Congress?
30. How many senators are there in Congress?
31. Can you name the two senators from your state?
32. For how long do we elect each senator?
33. How many representatives are there in Congress?
34. For how long do we elect the representatives?
35. What is the executive branch of our government?
36. What is the judiciary branch of our government?
37. What are the duties of the Supreme Court?
38. What is the supreme court law of the United States?
39. What is the Bill of Rights?
40. What is the capital of your state?
41. Who is the current governor of your state?
42. Who becomes President of the United States if the President and the vice-president should die?
43. Who is the Chief Justice of the Supreme Court?
44. Can you name thirteen original states?
45. Who said, "Give me liberty or give me death."?
46. Which countries were our enemies during World War II?
47. What are the 49th and 50th states of the Union?
48. How many terms can the President serve?
49. Who was Martin Luther King, Jr.?
50. Who is the head of your local government?
51. According to the Constitution, a person must meet certain requirements in order to be eligible to become President. Name one of these requirements.
52. Why are there 100 Senators in the Senate?
53. Who selects the Supreme Court justice?
54. How many Supreme Court justice are there?
55. Why did the Pilgrims come to America?
56. What is the head executive of a state government called?
57. What is the head executive of a city government called?
58. What holiday was celebrated for the first time by the Americans colonists?
59. Who was the main writer of the Declaration of Independence?
60. When was the Declaration of Independence adopted?
61. What is the basic belief of the Declaration of Independence?
62. What is the national anthem of the United States?
63. Who wrote the Star-Spangled Banner?
64. Where does freedom of speech come from?
65. What is a minimum voting age in the United States?
66. Who signs bills into law?
67. What is the highest court in the United States?
68. Who was the President during the Civil War?
69. What did the Emancipation Declaration do?
70. What special group advises the President?
71. Which President is called the "Father of our country"?
72. What Immigration and Naturalization Service form is used to apply to become a naturalized citizen?
73. Who helped the Pilgrims in America?
74. What is the name of the ship that brought the Pilgrims to America?
75. What are the 13 original states of the U.S. called?
76. Name 3 rights of freedom guaranteed by the Bill of Rights.
77. Who has the power to declare the war?
78. What kind of government does the United States have?
79. Which President freed the slaves?
80. In what year was the Constitution written?
81. What are the first 10 amendments to the Constitution called?
82. Name one purpose of the United Nations?
83. Where does Congress meet?
84. Whose rights are guaranteed by the Constitution and the Bill of Rights?
85. What is the introduction to the Constitution called?
86. Name one benefit of being citizen of the United States.
87. What is the most important right granted to U.S. citizens?
88. What is the United States Capitol?
89. What is the White House?
90. Where is the White House located?
91. What is the name of the President's official home?
92. Name the right guaranteed by the first amendment.
93. Who is the Commander in Chief of the U.S. military?
94. Which President was the first Commander in Chief of the U.S. military?
95. In what month do we vote for the President?
96. In what month is the new President inaugurated?
97. How many times may a Senator be re-elected?
98. How many times may a Congressman be re-elected?
99. What are the 2 major political parties in the U.S. today?
100. How many states are there in the United States today?

WHY, WHY, WHY?

...does the bus always leave right before you get to the stop?
...do you hear more complaints than compliments?
...is pot illegal and alcohol isn't?
...do we have an appendix?
...can't I sleep when I know I have to wake up?
...are skinny women taken more serious?
...can't people refrain from hitting?
...do we fear the unknown?
...settle for less?
...do I have to press 1 for English?
...don't I like sushi?
...has our nation become complacent?
...is the Mac hated?
...why do I even wonder why?

How does it feel to be an American?

My boyfriend asks me from time to time. He always laughs at my answers. I think he's being cynical. He knows he speaks the truth.
I wear my defenses like masks from the truth.
My European boyfriend could very well be just as American as myself.
Literally.
We went shopping for him to take gifts home. Something that they could see was from and made in America.
Everything I found is made in China. In Nicaragua. In Mexico.
That's nothing new to us.
It's not some new revelation.
It just really hit me, not for the first time, just again.

hey ms american
its me again
trying to buy a cardigan
from the state i'm in

our american cars
have foreign parts
plastic toys from
unknown parts

american made it may say
american money you will pay
american delivered not today
american bred, no way!

hey ms american
can't you see the state i'm in
still trying to find that cardigan
it's left my head in a whirl again

technically trumped

I thought by the year 2000 we'd be technically far more advanced than what we are. (Truly) And to think color t.v. was only introduced to the American public in 1950! Only 58 short years ago.
I remember thinking the year 2000 will have us flying about in saucers in orbit or glass enclosed communities on other planets. Growing up watching the Jetson's and Lost In Space really kind of paved the way for my future thinking. I think the destruction of our planet will eventually force us to go 'up'.
And to think the 21st century still has us riding about on 4 wheels, cooking over heat or open flame, living in cave-like dwellings.
I feel ripped off in the sense I probably won't live to see the day of advanced technology. That is, if we get that far. Just what will our future bring?

GOODBYE MAY

Since my birth month is hours away from ending, I'd like to share some things that I like, in no particular order. :)

• the color green
• being a mom
• watermelon motifs
• toes squishing in mud
• frozen peach margaritas
• horse hooves on pavement
• all day thundershowers
• chocolate & almonds
• snuggling with him
• tropical islands
• lipstick
• girlfriend night
• smell of crayons
• waves crashing on the shore
• good cologne
• granmas tamales
• fresh cut grass
• silver jewelry
• road trips
• quality handbags
• taking pictures
• homemade pumpkin pie
• fall leaves rustling
• giggling
• finding cool shells
• kennywood park

remembering you on memorial day

small town
you already did your tour
runnin about town in that souped up camaro
i liked you instantly
packed all of our belongings
but we made it
barely
tumbleweeds, tarantulas, but where are the cowboys?
settled in fine
young but not alone
you know, 1+1=3
we'd sit and rock
you'd both fall asleep
second tour and you were relieved
where you relieved?
i'd watch you two
gymnastics, t-ball, motorcycles, soccer, football, 3 wheelers, basketball, hockey
you did it all, he did it all, we did it all
i'll never forget
what you gave
for him
for us
3-1=2

What am I?

i walk about the streets neglected
  seen many places
tho i seem to get around undetected

the years you know, have worn me thin
  somewhat tattered
tho tossed about, i never wonder where i've been

protruding nail didn't cause my pain
  no patches here
no doctors fees for someones gain

you need me more than i need you
  i'm sometimes smelly
when it's time you will renew

nothing seems to offer me solace
  tho i can be costly
you'll find me in your bottom closet

In memory. Happy Mother's Day Mom.

My Mom was something else. She would say the funniest things. Sometimes the most embarrassing things to us kids. I remember her laughing so hard she would cry and not be able to stop. I think fondly of her. Everyone loved her, truly. She was a magnet and everyone loved to be around her. A small Irish woman with a big big heart. I saw her chase down my 6 ft brother once and catch him! Here are some writings of one of my sisters about our Mom. Happy Mother's Day!


Thank You Dr Feurst

Mom had been to the doctor many times during the end of her time here but I remember one trip years earlier when I went with her to see her favorite doctor, Dr Feurst. Now Mom thought he was the cutest thing and loved going to see him. I was inclined to agree with her as I had a secret crush on him. I was pretty young at the time and as a lot of young people are self centered, I was no different. I remember being ashamed of the way she was. She was loud and brash and in my eyes, she said the most humiliating things. Oh, the receptionist laughed when Mom made an inappropriate comment. (I thought it was out of politeness).

We were called back into the room to wait for the doctor and I remember feeling a little antsy. Wishing that I wasn't there. Wishing that he wouldn't associate me with this hillbilly of a women. When the doctor walked into to the room, he greeted her as if they were old friends. I thought he also was just being polite and professional. And there went Mom. Telling him how she was feeling, interjecting bits of humor about her day and her life. I watched his face to see the signs of disinterest, of impatience at wasting his time. I saw none of that. Instead, I saw his face fill with laughter at what she was saying. He was asking questions and was interested in her responses. I began to see Mom in a whole new light. I felt ashamed at feeling ashamed of her. Mom grew 10 feet in my eyes that day. When we were leaving, he told her that she was his favorite patient and the way he said it, you knew he meant it. I never felt ashamed of Mom after that-it was like a veil was lifted. I had always loved her and thought she was funny but I never knew that other people saw her that way too. Thank-you Dr Feurst for letting me accept my Mom for who she was. A funny, warm and totally whacky women who was always there for you. She was true to herself and to others. I wish I was more like her. I love you Mom.

I Remember Ma

Sitting on the porch drinking a cup of black coffee with a cigarette in her hand.

Lying in bed with us gently rocking the mattress while singing every song she knew in her soft, gravely voice until we went to sleep.

Canning so many jars of tomatoes and as many jars of jelly as the berries that we picked.

Standing at the kitchen counter until everyone was done eating a meal so she could sit down to eat.

Baking home made bread, pies, biscuits, cakes and cookies all from scratch.

Strumming her guitar like no one else I knew. I couldn't do it with such ease and finesse no matter how hard I tried.

Laughing.

Never picking a favorite child even when I kept pressing her to tell me..she'd always say "I love you all the same". And best of all, you never felt she had a favorite.

Digging out the back cellar bucket by bucket, shoveling coal into the furnace and allowing me to bank it, cutting the grass

Saying "Keep your legs closed", that was the only conversation we ever had about sex.

Decorating the Christmas tree with bubble lights and ice cycles and assorted ornaments, some of which we made. We always had a real tree.

Getting mad. Her eyes would light up and she get this tone in her voice and you knew you'd better run.

Out running me when I was ornery and I playfully told her she'd never catch me.

Whipping me once, I had to pull a switch off of the tree. I wonder what I did because she never beat us.

Telling us to be home before the street lights came on.

Telling us that if we came in, we had to stay in.

Always being there just to sit and shoot the bull with about nothing in particular.

Barbara Millicent Roberts

When I turned 13 I gave my entire barbie collection to my niece. I regret that move even to this day. I suppose I thought I was all grown up and shouldn't play with dolls. Why didn't I just put them away for my daughter one day?
I must have been all of 7 years old. My mum took us to the salvation army to pick out some toys. I didn't even notice that those very ones were eventually wrapped and put under the tree as our Christmas gifts that year. My favorite was an old barbie doll. She had black hair, almond eyes with eyeliner. I still think of that doll, not as much as what she would be worth nowadays, but, the fact that she was old and unique. Oh, I still had my regular barbies. I used to crack their knees all the time and bite their rubbery toes. They just don't make them like that anymore. I learned a new word that year: accessories. And accessories I had! So many outfits, purses, shoes. I can still smell the plastic! The case with the little hangers, what a delight for any small child! Even after all these years I still yearn for my almond eyed barbie with the eyeliner.

Happy Birthday Blackbeards!

   I've been from the east to the west coast and haven't found a more delicious nor consistent restaurant than Blackbeards' at South Padre Island in Texas.

HAPPY 30TH BIRTHDAY

No matter how often I go back to visit, the food is always just as delicious.

Homemade onion rings from 1015's, truly the biggest I've ever seen!

From burgers, to steak and seafood dinners, this will surely become a winner.

Hey Martin, if your still in the kitchen, hook me up with my favorite chicken. Blackened ranchero over a plate of rice, with your special salsa perfectly spiced.

Hats off to the managers and the rest of the staff, who hold it together on our behalf.

So if you find yourself heading south, don't stop till you get to the gulf.

     Stop in and grab a bite to eat. You'll go back year after year, naturally!

Blackbeards' Restaurant

1,560 days.

(How many tears have you shed my friend?)

Did each day get easier than the last?
Every mothers nightmare.
Anguish held it's grasp.

(1,560 days, do the tears still start your day?)

If love is measured in every tear that drops.
Your love for him won't ever stop.

(Your love droplets filled so many buckets.)

It hurts me too, to see your pain.
For we all know he died not in vain.
He chose to live the best he knew how.
So humble his crown and you were so proud!

(The past lives in our future.)

If you look back at the road you've traveled, so many memories, the past is unraveled.
But those lessons in life help us to grow, help us to reach out to those that don't 'know'.
So, share his life with those that will listen, and your eyes shall surely glisten.

...te amo mi amiga, muchos besos..

in memory of: Rey David Cuervo ~ kia~8-29-79 - 12-28-03

...ennGAGE!

When my soon to be boyfriend said he watched Star Trek, I figured him to be a nerd. Yah, I used to watch the original Star Trek reruns back in the day. But anything that came along after that seemed to be strictly only for the Trekkie's. I've seen pictures of them going to their conventions in full attire. I imagined 'him' with Spock ears.
He said I should watch an episode, they were really good.
Then.
I did.
Now.
Am hooked.
After watching TNG and Voyager, I sometimes find myself running about the house saying: set your phasers on stun or I am Borg, resistance is futile.
I even imagine 'round Halloween how I can make myself up to be some sort of android or alien. Hats off to the writers who make it all so believable. So memorable.
...Janeway OUT!