Dear Theresa

Dear Theresa,
I often wonder where you are. Has the road of days gone by led you to some fair place? Or are you still in the land of childhood memories?
I look for you when I go back, the white pages never seem to turn you up. I hope the social networks find you well, and I keep searching.
Searching for time lost, wanting to recapture some part of me that's gone.
Dear Theresa, has the years treated you well? Remember the Wedgewood days? Quickies, cops, runnin' and pot?
Listening to the best music ever. Bowie, Hendrix, T Rex, always kept our head in the mix.
Hanging out over on Powell, with the cool kids and the foxes. Long hair, hip huggers and halters. You're a fond memory now.
Mum said you called once, but I was too busy doing something,
I wished I hadn't missed your connection, now I fear a lost rejection.
I did get to California, have you? Long lost pact, I got here and had forgotten.
I'm not sure if the road I took was less traveled, but it certainly had it's stops.
I still look for you, trying to recapture some part of me that's lost...


UPDATE: I found HER! 2013~Facebook

pulled in, piled on, pushed out...a corporate prose

You pulled me in, making me think how invaluable I was.
My degree tweaked your interest, my experience impressed your needs.
Like the sprinter in the 60 metre, I reached those rungs with ease.
You piled it on, with long hours and exasperating deadlines.
And I was caught up in a constant corporate whirl.
The more you patted, the higher the rung, and I kept running.
My work was immeasurable, my reputation did precede.
But all zones have their limits and comfort isn't in it.
Your pats finally started to pull me down, and you finally,
pushed me out.

wait staff 101

We had a bad experience in a restaurant today at Pier 39 in Fisherman's Wharf. I felt bad as I really hyped it up for my boyfriend who hadn't gone before. After a brief waiting period we were escorted to our seats. I used to waitress and also manage restaurants, so I'm more aware of what goes on.

I notice the girl who appears to be our server, has the one side section where we're seated and it's kind of busy. She had passed us 3 times without acknowledging us or giving us eye contact. We continued to wait. The busboys came and went, cleaning tables around us, not looking at us. She came again and went. The hostesses were seating people but, oblivious to what was going on around them. I told my boyfriend, wow, this is pretty bad service already, he suggested we wait a bit to see how long it was going to take. I saw a man who I would say was the manager, and he was looking in our direction talking to another employee, but even he, even he didn't come around to help. Wow. We never did get service, by this time, I'm pretty pissed and we decide to leave. We told the hostesses why we were leaving and just left. I didn't even ask to speak to the manager, my words would have fallen on deaf ears.

Seriously, I expect excellent service when going out. I know the drill. You rely on your tips, especially in America. I used to only make $2.13 an hour plus tips (south Texas). That hardly cuts it. It actually MADE me a good waitress. If I go somewhere and the server is grumpy, it really ruins my whole experience. I think the business is a reflection of it's managers, as the employees are.

So, we ended up going to one of our favorite places down the street. Totally different. Our server was on top of his game, personable and smiling. Our experience was pleasant and he fulfilled our every need. I tipped him well. Before leaving, I asked to speak to the manager. I told him I've always had excellent service and food there, but today was exceptional, and Uriel was fantastic. That put a big ol smile on his face. That server reflected him and his establishment.

So people, here are a few tips:

1. Don't wait more than 3 minutes to approach my table-leaving me sit unacknowledged is really annoying.
2. Eye contact always-avoiding our gaze makes me think your well, avoiding us.
3. If you can't make it to the table right away, stop by and tell us you'll be right back to take our order-this will make or break your tip.
4. Real busy, and you can't get to us at all? have a hostess, busboy or manager come, greet and take our drink order-believe me, once we have drinks we're happy.
5. Smile, smile, smile-a lot of us out here are great tippers and we expect a friendly server-that will make or break your tip.
6. Don't overwhelm us with your presence, but be aware of whats going on and stop by at least once during the meal-if I'm drinking coffee, please keep my cup filled.
7. You'll know how much to approach us, a friendly chat now and then will make us think your just the sweetest thing-and we'll want to tip you well.
8. Please take care of us and whatever we need, if it's broke, please fix it-we are paying you for this.
9. When you drop off the bill, please don't say 'this is where you put the tip'-that only makes us very irritable.
10. Please don't go running after us, saying we forgot to leave a tip-there probably was good reason why we didn't.
11. If you give me bad service, I'm going to tell your manager-if you give me good service, I'm going to tell your manager.
12. Remember, don't stereotype anybody -treat everybody the same, always.

When to draw the line.

What's going on in America these days? It's horrific. Children being abused, neglected and killed left and right. Most of the time by their own parents! The age old question, why have them if you don't want to take care of them? I can't imagine murdering anyone let alone a child. Such sad times. People may question, where was CPS during those times? It seems a hit and miss with them. Take the Garrido case, Phillip was a registered sex offender and even served time in prison for the rape and kidnapping of a woman. Where was CPS then? Check out that story here.

Then you have the story about the Demaree's who had their children taken away from them for a month after dropping off photos to be developed at Walmart. The lab tech reported the bath-time pictures to CPS. Read their story, because it could easily happen to you. I feel sorry for those children who didn't know or understand what was going on, and not being with their parents for a whole month! Seriously, things are getting out of hand. Just when do you draw the line?

Check out these other tragic stories:

Haleigh Cummings: missing

Caylee Anthony: deceased

Hasanni Campbell: missing

Adji Desir: missing

National Center For Missing Children

Americas Most Wanted Missing Children

Lock up your sons, the cougars are coming!

Mrrrawwwwwww!

So what's the big fuss anyway? Men and women have been doing it since the beginning of time. For some reason, it seems more prevalent nowadays. There's even a reality show called Cougar. Pick up any tabloid and you'll find an article about Demi Moore & Ashton Kutcher, Linda Hogan & Charlie Hill, or Halle Berry & Gabriel Aubry.

Check this:

Wikipedia's definition of cougar: a stalk and ambush predator

Urban dictionary's definition of cougar: an older woman who frequents clubs in order to score with a much younger man

I think the difference lay between cougars, or women who hunt younger men for personal or sexual reasons and women who just happen to have a younger boyfriend. Meaning, she didn't hunt him down because he was young. I believe in the 'click' thing. And it's hard to find someone you click with, no matter how young or old you are. So if an older woman finds a younger man that she clicks with then, the more power to her. And him.

I'm sure Cleopatra & Ptolemy weren't thinking they shouldn't be together because of their ages. Or Queen Elizabeth I and her one time fiancee Francois, Duke of Anjou. Oh wait, she may be the exception..haha..she was one hot tamale in her day. Well, that's another story. :)

My boyfriend and I were taking a walk one day and he says "Did you see the way those older women were looking at you? They looked to you like an Oracle, waiting for advice as to how you did it!" That really cracked me up, as I don't see peoples reactions that way. When I'm with him, I don't see his age. "We just click man!"

Mrrrawwwwwww!

MY AGONY

I've had my share of emotional tragedies. Although inevitable, and unavoidable, death will cast it's cloak upon us all. There was a time a few years ago that I just seemed overwhelmed by the deaths in my family due to their untimely circumstantial passing. One morning, my agony was released when I awoke and put pen to paper. The following is an unedited version of what came to me. Hopefully it will help someone in their own torment and grief.

My Brother lay in a pool of his own blood. Words cannot describe how I felt when I myself received that dreaded call early one morning. All I could do was scream. How could this happen? A brother, a son, a nephew, a cousin, a friend, loved by all? A person so full of talent and life. The poet, the dreamer, the "one" who got things done. It felt like my heart was being wretched out of my skin, and I would walk miles to lay a single beautiful perfect rose upon his grave. Sitting there crying, talking, rejoicing in the life of the day, sharing news, stories, new songs. How could one who brought so much joy to others, bring so much pain? I still do not know if it were you who took that gun, and put it to your chest my brother, I do not know the events of that day. But you will always be in my heart, and even to this day, I pray that you are in that place, that peaceful place, in the midst of God, finally understanding all, knowing all, and loving all.

My husband lay there screaming in agony. A skeleton of a man, why would a disease such as this take the life, this beautiful life out of such a wonderful man? A husband, a father, a brother, a son, a cousin, a nephew, a brother-in-law, a friend, loved by all? My heart was slain when I found you that day. You would not let me take you to get help. You would not let me sleep by your side, nor have your son in the house that night. Yes, "they" say you know, when it's your time, yet it was not our time. A man so full of love for his family, who gave every waking moment tho in constant pain, to share the joys of childhood with his young son. You continued your life the best you knew how. You gave more to me and Joe in your short life, than anybody I know. You will always be in my heart, and even to this day, I pray that you are in that place, that peaceful place, in the midst of God, finally understanding all, knowing all, and loving all.

My mother lay there lifeless. The morphine riding her veins so as not to feel the pain of this tumor growing so rapidly in her beautiful body. A woman who was absolutely loved by all. A mother, a daughter, a wife, a sister, a cousin, a niece, a mother-in-law, a friend. There are no words to describe the look in your eyes, before you slipped off into unconsciousness. I wished I could take the pain from you, your fears. Yet, I rejoiced in hearing your last words..."HE IS HERE!" and tho it was hard to let you go, I finally had to take my grip from you, and let you slip away. I have you in my heart always, and will never forget the love that you had for me, and the sacrifices you gave for me. You brought such love and happiness to all those around you, and people were drawn to you like a magnet. I take your spirit with me everywhere I go, in this road that I travel now, and know that I will always have a piece of you in me, and in this I am content. You will always be in my heart, and even to this day, I pray that you are in that place, that peaceful place, in the midst of God, finally understanding all, knowing all, and loving all.

My sister, I was not with you the day your sweet young life was taken from you. My heart is still filled with such pain, such pain, that's so hard to bear. A sister, a daughter, a mother, a niece, a cousin, a friend. Where did you lose your way in life? If I could have seen, I would have kept you safe from harm. My baby sister, I'll always remember the good times, and keep your memory close at heart. You were loved by many, in your wake, this I seen. You touched many lives in your very own way, and you will not be forgotten. Your tragic ending bothers me to this day, the twisted metal of your coffin cannot be erased from my mind, yet, you will always be in my heart, and even to this day, I pray that you are in that place, that peaceful place, in the midst of God, finally understanding all, knowing all, and loving all.

PENNY CANDY

I grew up in a small town atop a hill surrounded by woods. We had so much fun as kids. Stayed outside all day playing but had to be in before the street lights came on. High water low water, Annie Annie overhead, red-light green-light, hide n seek, the list goes on. Riding our bikes in the summer time. Skuffed knees and iodine soaked bandaids . Going to the playground and cooling off in the baby pool. Times were good. We used to play below the house in the woods near the trestle and play in the creek. (pronounced crick) The smell of sassafras, catching small crabs and laying in the wheat grass trying to figure out shapes in the clouds. But nothing beat going to the dime store at Ruth and Joe's and buying penny candy! What a treat for us kids. I remember a dime could fill up a small brown bag and we'd happily be on our way munching on our goodies.

Here are some of my favorites!

ARE YOU PREPARED?

Everyone is subject to some sort of disaster. The question is, are you prepared? Depending on where you live can narrow things down a bit. For instance, I'll most likely go through a major earthquake if I stay in California. So, just how prepared am I? The electric goes out. The gas gets turned off. There's no water. My building is stable enough to stay but we're warned not to go outside. What do I do? I'll go through my apartment now to see how well we'd survive.

....since it's dark, I stumbled my way into the bedroom and phew, there's the flashlight in my nightstand drawer and it works! I check in my battery drawer but there's only 1 for the flashlight and it needs two. (mental note buy spare batteries!) I then go to the kitchen drawer and get out the tea lights and find the lighter. I remember I threw a bunch of matches away. :(

I then light the candles that's always set out and find only 2 extras on my office shelf. I don't have any stored water and only one 16 oz bottle left which equates to one toilet flush. My grocery order was put off. One bottle of grape juice, 7 beers, half box of wine, 2 boxes of lemonade and a few bottles of coke. That's it. 

Since I cannot cook and I don't have a grill, knowing everything in the fridge will eventually spoil I look to my cupboards. This will we our staple to survive the next few days or even weeks. A few cans of green beans, corn, peas, tuna, tomato soup and a box of granola bars. One loaf of bread. Half jar of peanut butter and a few bags of cashews. If push came to shove we'd have to start working on stuff like croutons, spaghetti sauce, cake mix, but I would hope we'd get help fast from Red Cross or FEMA.

I don't have a battery operated radio so I don't know what the situation is in our area. I don't have a first aid kit in the event one of us had been injured during the quake, I just found some small bandages in the medicine cabinet. We do have a lot of blankets, and my important papers all in one container. 

I check my wallet and I only have $4.00 in cash. I'm not sure how long it's going to take the banks to open. We'd survive for about a week on what I currently have at home, but that's it.

We need to be more prepared, all of us. We can't rely on outside help, especially in the early stages. One of my friends who went through one of the hurricanes last year in south Texas said it took her 6 months to get any financial help from FEMA. When they did come, they brought them EXPIRED rations! Please don't rely on anyone but yourselves. Get prepared, be prepared.

K(ancer)

She would come into work with her infectious smile, bubbling with enthusiasm. Red flaming hair and freckled skin. She adored her young son and husband, and enjoyed being with us, her friends. We loved being around her. She had a way of brightening up one's day. I never, ever saw any negativity come from her, even when she, she.....

Felt a lump, and the doctor told her it was nothing. Said it was just probably a cyst and not to worry.
A few months later another doctor diagnosed her with breast cancer.

I cannot begin to tell you what this woman had gone through. The mastectomy didn't work. The cancer spread. Chemotherapy and radiation didn't work. The cancer spread to her lymph nodes. Things weren't looking so good. She'd come to work with that bad wig but she still had that infectious smile, I could tell the cancer was taking it's toll but she was determined to beat it and stay positive.

Doctors tried every treatment available and after the third round of chemo, the cancer spread through her bones. Her smile was weakening, defeat was starting to show. But she still trudged on the best she could. For her young family, her friends, me.
I remember telling them at work we should all shave our heads so Janine wouldn't feel so alone or isolated in her disease.

Then I felt the lump. Words cannot describe that feeling of impending doom. My first thoughts went to my own son who lost his father at age 8. What would become of him if I were gone too? Torturous, torturous moments in time. I didn't want him to go through that again. He didn't deserve this.

My doctor whisked me to biopsy immediately. I caught it early. Laying on a cold gurney in the hallway waiting for my surgery. Laughing at the power outage and blaming it on Friday 13th. They successfully removed the small lump and 13 lymph nodes. How ironic. I was so happy to be alive but it wasn't over yet. The doctor told me after one week of the chemo the hair would start to fall out and true to the day it did. A friend shaved my head because I didn't want to wake up one morning with long hair spattering the pillow. That would be hard to handle.

Being one of the lucky ones, I never got ill from the chemo unlike Janine who went through a terrible time of it. All of it. I tried to remain positive like her, tho oddly enough had a hard time talking to her about it. Maybe it was because mine didn't seem as bad as hers and that made me feel a little guilty.

When I went wig shopping I wanted to throw up. They were horrible and MADE you look sick. I vowed from that day on to wear my baldness in pride, with cute hats and bandanas. The radiation after the chemo left some burn scars but that's all that's visible. Battle wounds.

There are three things that got me through it.
My very supportive family, Janine and her positive attitude, and spelling cancer Kancer.
It's been 10 years, and I'm Kancer free.

Sweet, sweet Janine lost her life to it.

SO you wanna be on TOP?

There's hope for us all. When I first saw America's Next Top Model, I refused to watch it thinking 'Good-god, not another stupid reality show!' Well, now I love Sunday's all day run. I used to think all models were naturally beautiful even before makeup and airbrushing. Now I realize, these are just normal everyday gals. There's hope for us all. I've always wondered what I would look like all made up and prettified. Back in the day I went to Glamour Shots and came out looking worse than when I went in. Was I the victim of someone's bad day, or first day? Hopefully sooner rather than later before gravity takes it's final hold, I'll get that makeover I'm so curious about. :)

dear mr. postman

It used to be hard getting into the postal service. Nowadays it seems, having a pulse will do.

I mean seriously postal worker, after the third time stuffing a too big box in a too small mailbox, you'd learn by now???

Each time I wrote a nice note and taped it to my box, it took two days for you to get it out? I'm guessing you either didn't understand what I was asking or you don't understand English. 

I know you come twice a day. I stopped you on the street one day to ask you a very basic question and you gave me that 'deer in the headlights' look.

I see you huddled in doorways chatting to your friends and smoking. I'm pretty sure the postal service doesn't want you representing them in that way. Makes me think you're being lazy and slacking on the job. 

And oh yeah, please go to the next building and bring me the package that you delivered to the wrong place.

FACE your FEARS

I hate spiders. Period. Big, small, hairy, jumping, crawling. I owe it all to Billy Andrews. When we were kids we used to play in the woods below our house. The boys used to throw these banana spiders on us girls. That was the most horrifying thing I can remember as a child. He threw one spider too many and I threw the brick. I saw blood and ran home crying. I don't believe he ever threw another spider but it left me fearing them.
~big, black, sharp scuttling creature
~hairy, brown eight legged foe
~creeping, crawling, jumping
...I'll always call you for
~stomping, squashing, swatting

Random Acts of STUPIDNESS

To the lady who was walking her dog without a leash.
One small child in hand, a baby in the storage area UNDER the stroller and a BAG in the seat.
Just what were you thinking?
When the other fierce dog approached yours, you did pick up your child in hand. BUT disregarded your baby as the other dog sniffed/nipped at it?
Just what were you thinking?

Runnin' from the POlice.

...I hope you got your Timberlands on tight, cause I ain't givin up I'd rather duck these motherfsckers all night I'm runnin' through the projects, beyotch They'll never catch me Cause I'm loc'd and trigger happy on the, sneotch Don't say you never heard of me, til they murder me,
I'm a legend Do Thug Niggas go to heaven? I'm rollin with the thorough heads We gettin ghost on them hoes and yo I got no love for the 5 - 0 I'm runnin' from the police...


I think Tupac was one of the greatest songwriters.
He's pretty much the only hip hop artist I listen to.
I'm not too sure about all the hoopla when he died.
East coast, west cast territorial bullshit.
I think he was probably one of those guys who you felt good with.
Kinda like being with the cool kids.

Another sad story about someone so talented dying young.
Kinda wraps up what everybody seems to think.
Maybe he faked his death, maybe he's in witness protection.

Regardless, his music will live on.

 
Check out this skit from Chappelle.

 (laugh on)

Pittsburgh's goin to the Suuuuper Bowl.

...AGAIN!
I'm so excited! I really love Pittsburgh football. Especially the fans whom I may add, are die HARD. I remember going to the games and getting all dressed up in Steeler attire. Tailgating in the parking lot grilling chicken and sausage. Drinking Iron City and Coors Lite. Ahhhh, those were the days! I remember back in the day when the steel curtain ruled, and passed an immaculate reception. For over 25 years I'd often chant, one for the thumb, one for the thumb.
2006 was that year. Now, here we are again and I'm reveling in the thoughts about how we got here. And hopefully will win yet another title. Yeah, I'll don my Steeler jersey and wave the terrible towel. Scream and yell, pace back and forth, jump up and down, bite my nails. But in the end, not far off, you'll hear a little voice saying, one for the other thumb, one for the other thumb.

Who would have thunk it?

It would start with a hint of green. Everywhere. Little buds on the trees, new grass sprouting from the thawing ground. Lilie's popping up everywhere even surviving through the last snow. The whole earth just seemed to come alive. 

All day thunderstorms, rain pitter pattering on the roof, hearing the thunder in the distance. One one thousand, two one thousand. Everything just smelled so fresh.

Toes squishing in warm mud puddles, rain drops on my tongue. Oh how I loved Spring!
Laying in the back yard, smelling fresh cut grass. The hot summer sun beating down on my face. Climbing the apple and cherry trees and eating the fruit till your tummy ached. 

Sitting on the porch at night watching the gazillion stars and listening to the crickets and frogs. Ice cold lemonade, digging around in the flower bed, long bike rides. Summer was so much fun!
Watching the leaves turn colors, raking them into piles, jumping in only to have to rake them again. Oh how I miss the smell of autumn leaves! Carving pumpkins, hayrides, pulling out the sweaters. Fall was my favorite time of year!

Dropping temperatures, snowstorms and staying home from school. Sled riding, building snowmen, hot dogs over an open fire. Big big snowflakes falling gently on my face. Eating icicles that hung from the eaves. Snow angels, runny noses and frost bit toes. Winter was a wintry blast!

I do miss the four seasons.

Here we have four seasons: cold/sunny, cold/rainy, cold/foggy, cold/cold.

California. Who would have thunk it?