wait staff 101

We had a bad experience in a restaurant today at Pier 39 in Fisherman's Wharf. I felt bad as I really hyped it up for my boyfriend who hadn't gone before. After a brief waiting period we were escorted to our seats. I used to waitress and also manage restaurants, so I'm more aware of what goes on.

I notice the girl who appears to be our server, has the one side section where we're seated and it's kind of busy. She had passed us 3 times without acknowledging us or giving us eye contact. We continued to wait. The busboys came and went, cleaning tables around us, not looking at us. She came again and went. The hostesses were seating people but, oblivious to what was going on around them. I told my boyfriend, wow, this is pretty bad service already, he suggested we wait a bit to see how long it was going to take. I saw a man who I would say was the manager, and he was looking in our direction talking to another employee, but even he, even he didn't come around to help. Wow. We never did get service, by this time, I'm pretty pissed and we decide to leave. We told the hostesses why we were leaving and just left. I didn't even ask to speak to the manager, my words would have fallen on deaf ears.

Seriously, I expect excellent service when going out. I know the drill. You rely on your tips, especially in America. I used to only make $2.13 an hour plus tips (south Texas). That hardly cuts it. It actually MADE me a good waitress. If I go somewhere and the server is grumpy, it really ruins my whole experience. I think the business is a reflection of it's managers, as the employees are.

So, we ended up going to one of our favorite places down the street. Totally different. Our server was on top of his game, personable and smiling. Our experience was pleasant and he fulfilled our every need. I tipped him well. Before leaving, I asked to speak to the manager. I told him I've always had excellent service and food there, but today was exceptional, and Uriel was fantastic. That put a big ol smile on his face. That server reflected him and his establishment.

So people, here are a few tips:

1. Don't wait more than 3 minutes to approach my table-leaving me sit unacknowledged is really annoying.
2. Eye contact always-avoiding our gaze makes me think your well, avoiding us.
3. If you can't make it to the table right away, stop by and tell us you'll be right back to take our order-this will make or break your tip.
4. Real busy, and you can't get to us at all? have a hostess, busboy or manager come, greet and take our drink order-believe me, once we have drinks we're happy.
5. Smile, smile, smile-a lot of us out here are great tippers and we expect a friendly server-that will make or break your tip.
6. Don't overwhelm us with your presence, but be aware of whats going on and stop by at least once during the meal-if I'm drinking coffee, please keep my cup filled.
7. You'll know how much to approach us, a friendly chat now and then will make us think your just the sweetest thing-and we'll want to tip you well.
8. Please take care of us and whatever we need, if it's broke, please fix it-we are paying you for this.
9. When you drop off the bill, please don't say 'this is where you put the tip'-that only makes us very irritable.
10. Please don't go running after us, saying we forgot to leave a tip-there probably was good reason why we didn't.
11. If you give me bad service, I'm going to tell your manager-if you give me good service, I'm going to tell your manager.
12. Remember, don't stereotype anybody -treat everybody the same, always.

When to draw the line.

What's going on in America these days? It's horrific. Children being abused, neglected and killed left and right. Most of the time by their own parents! The age old question, why have them if you don't want to take care of them? I can't imagine murdering anyone let alone a child. Such sad times. People may question, where was CPS during those times? It seems a hit and miss with them. Take the Garrido case, Phillip was a registered sex offender and even served time in prison for the rape and kidnapping of a woman. Where was CPS then? Check out that story here.

Then you have the story about the Demaree's who had their children taken away from them for a month after dropping off photos to be developed at Walmart. The lab tech reported the bath-time pictures to CPS. Read their story, because it could easily happen to you. I feel sorry for those children who didn't know or understand what was going on, and not being with their parents for a whole month! Seriously, things are getting out of hand. Just when do you draw the line?

Check out these other tragic stories:

Haleigh Cummings: missing

Caylee Anthony: deceased

Hasanni Campbell: missing

Adji Desir: missing

National Center For Missing Children

Americas Most Wanted Missing Children

Lock up your sons, the cougars are coming!

Mrrrawwwwwww!

So what's the big fuss anyway? Men and women have been doing it since the beginning of time. For some reason, it seems more prevalent nowadays. There's even a reality show called Cougar. Pick up any tabloid and you'll find an article about Demi Moore & Ashton Kutcher, Linda Hogan & Charlie Hill, or Halle Berry & Gabriel Aubry.

Check this:

Wikipedia's definition of cougar: a stalk and ambush predator

Urban dictionary's definition of cougar: an older woman who frequents clubs in order to score with a much younger man

I think the difference lay between cougars, or women who hunt younger men for personal or sexual reasons and women who just happen to have a younger boyfriend. Meaning, she didn't hunt him down because he was young. I believe in the 'click' thing. And it's hard to find someone you click with, no matter how young or old you are. So if an older woman finds a younger man that she clicks with then, the more power to her. And him.

I'm sure Cleopatra & Ptolemy weren't thinking they shouldn't be together because of their ages. Or Queen Elizabeth I and her one time fiancee Francois, Duke of Anjou. Oh wait, she may be the exception..haha..she was one hot tamale in her day. Well, that's another story. :)

My boyfriend and I were taking a walk one day and he says "Did you see the way those older women were looking at you? They looked to you like an Oracle, waiting for advice as to how you did it!" That really cracked me up, as I don't see peoples reactions that way. When I'm with him, I don't see his age. "We just click man!"

Mrrrawwwwwww!

MY AGONY

I've had my share of emotional tragedies. Although inevitable, and unavoidable, death will cast it's cloak upon us all. There was a time a few years ago that I just seemed overwhelmed by the deaths in my family due to their untimely circumstantial passing. One morning, my agony was released when I awoke and put pen to paper. The following is an unedited version of what came to me. Hopefully it will help someone in their own torment and grief.

My Brother lay in a pool of his own blood. Words cannot describe how I felt when I myself received that dreaded call early one morning. All I could do was scream. How could this happen? A brother, a son, a nephew, a cousin, a friend, loved by all? A person so full of talent and life. The poet, the dreamer, the "one" who got things done. It felt like my heart was being wretched out of my skin, and I would walk miles to lay a single beautiful perfect rose upon his grave. Sitting there crying, talking, rejoicing in the life of the day, sharing news, stories, new songs. How could one who brought so much joy to others, bring so much pain? I still do not know if it were you who took that gun, and put it to your chest my brother, I do not know the events of that day. But you will always be in my heart, and even to this day, I pray that you are in that place, that peaceful place, in the midst of God, finally understanding all, knowing all, and loving all.

My husband lay there screaming in agony. A skeleton of a man, why would a disease such as this take the life, this beautiful life out of such a wonderful man? A husband, a father, a brother, a son, a cousin, a nephew, a brother-in-law, a friend, loved by all? My heart was slain when I found you that day. You would not let me take you to get help. You would not let me sleep by your side, nor have your son in the house that night. Yes, "they" say you know, when it's your time, yet it was not our time. A man so full of love for his family, who gave every waking moment tho in constant pain, to share the joys of childhood with his young son. You continued your life the best you knew how. You gave more to me and Joe in your short life, than anybody I know. You will always be in my heart, and even to this day, I pray that you are in that place, that peaceful place, in the midst of God, finally understanding all, knowing all, and loving all.

My mother lay there lifeless. The morphine riding her veins so as not to feel the pain of this tumor growing so rapidly in her beautiful body. A woman who was absolutely loved by all. A mother, a daughter, a wife, a sister, a cousin, a niece, a mother-in-law, a friend. There are no words to describe the look in your eyes, before you slipped off into unconsciousness. I wished I could take the pain from you, your fears. Yet, I rejoiced in hearing your last words..."HE IS HERE!" and tho it was hard to let you go, I finally had to take my grip from you, and let you slip away. I have you in my heart always, and will never forget the love that you had for me, and the sacrifices you gave for me. You brought such love and happiness to all those around you, and people were drawn to you like a magnet. I take your spirit with me everywhere I go, in this road that I travel now, and know that I will always have a piece of you in me, and in this I am content. You will always be in my heart, and even to this day, I pray that you are in that place, that peaceful place, in the midst of God, finally understanding all, knowing all, and loving all.

My sister, I was not with you the day your sweet young life was taken from you. My heart is still filled with such pain, such pain, that's so hard to bear. A sister, a daughter, a mother, a niece, a cousin, a friend. Where did you lose your way in life? If I could have seen, I would have kept you safe from harm. My baby sister, I'll always remember the good times, and keep your memory close at heart. You were loved by many, in your wake, this I seen. You touched many lives in your very own way, and you will not be forgotten. Your tragic ending bothers me to this day, the twisted metal of your coffin cannot be erased from my mind, yet, you will always be in my heart, and even to this day, I pray that you are in that place, that peaceful place, in the midst of God, finally understanding all, knowing all, and loving all.

PENNY CANDY

I grew up in a small town atop a hill surrounded by woods. We had so much fun as kids. Stayed outside all day playing but had to be in before the street lights came on. High water low water, Annie Annie overhead, red-light green-light, hide n seek, the list goes on. Riding our bikes in the summer time. Skuffed knees and iodine soaked bandaids . Going to the playground and cooling off in the baby pool. Times were good. We used to play below the house in the woods near the trestle and play in the creek. (pronounced crick) The smell of sassafras, catching small crabs and laying in the wheat grass trying to figure out shapes in the clouds. But nothing beat going to the dime store at Ruth and Joe's and buying penny candy! What a treat for us kids. I remember a dime could fill up a small brown bag and we'd happily be on our way munching on our goodies.

Here are some of my favorites!